[in progress]

For now, thanks for stop pretending that you care.


これから君のこと思うこと、fasting gogo.


＊Tim's jalapeno potato chips are evil. I ate them in the morning, and they are still not broken down in my system, torturing my stomach. あまりからくないと朝から食べたのがミスだった…！orz

It's 3:48 a.m. right now, but apparently there still are other people awake on my floor... Why aren't you guys sleeping. Why aren't I sleeping. So, so much work. I wish I could read and write at the speed of light. Too bad I do them at the speed of a snail. :'(

KCCC talent show and bowling tomorrow. Thanks to the talent show, open chapel will end early tomorrow... I do want to go bowling and hang out with people, but I shouldn't. I'm rather glad that I have a valid excuse to not go (I'm staying up right now, I have a packed day tomorrow--or today, I'll be super tired, I won't be able to get up the next morning if I stay up late again, I have a test at 8 a.m. and I can't miss it). I'll come back right after chapel and sleep early. I just hope my roommie's boy friend doesn't come over again, like he's been for the past 2 weeks. :( I'm paying the same rent for this room, you know.

My throat hurts because I was cracking up horribly at Julie's text. It's painful.

I want to...
    play racquetball
    go shopping for Mushroom's gift
    see him
    not think about him so much
    not think about her so much
    not be mad
    not be jealous
    be humble
    be patient
    be loving
    be wise
    be mature
    be creative
    get Amanda's chocolate chip cookiesss omg

Ok, I'll ace the Japanese test on Friday and go to 4th Street. Maybe I'll drop by Blick's, too. Then on my way back, I'll drop by Amanda's, and get the bell peppers and chocolate bars at Safeway... Yay.

Time to be productive! >:)

Dear Leadership Award Applicant,
  
I am very pleased to inform you that you have been selected as an awardee for the California Alumni Association Leadership Award Alumni Scholarship for the 2008-09 academic year!  

oh my
oh God
@!(#%(@!!!! T_T


Read the first part of the email (I am very pleased to inform you....), couldn't believe my eyes, read the whole sentence, then ran out to the living room and shouted at my dad, "SCHOLARSHIP!!! BERKELEY!! I GOT IT!!!"

So, so happy and grateful. More so because my interview was absolutely horrible (I got so nervous... As I always do when I meet new people or attract attention o<-<) and wasn't expecting at all to get it. This couldn't have happened in any way other than by God's grace. XD I believe this is a sign telling me to go to Cal lol.

I was 99.9% determined to go to Cal after I visited it, but then last night my mom got serious and basically tried to dissuade me from going to Cal. I was confused (though everything she said to dissaude me was exactly what I had been worrying about, and though I firmed up my mind despite all that). My dad, too, wants me to stay in L.A., yet still he told me to choose where I wanted to go, and he'd follow my decision. I was never so grateful to my dad. Support from parent and friends... I really have to study hard and succeed.

He surely did change a lot. :)

And my grades! I thought it was now impossible to get an A in govt, but it's not!! I know the AP is in two weeks and we won't be doing much after that, but I'll really work hard for the last two months, at least. (Yeah, after a semester and a half of a serious senioritis, finally?) And I'm getting an A in chem, too!! Oh my. How is this happening? It's not like I've been studying any harder than last semester? I've actually been even more lax? Wah. Should keep it up, in any case.

Seriously, I even considered stop worrying about grades and just get straight B's. Now I'm motivated a bit to do work. Lol


My mom's supportive now, too lol "Why should you not be able to do it when 30,000 other kids are doing it?"

Yeah, I'll be frank and confess that I'm scared. It will be really tough. But I'm not gonna give up or fall back. Never.

Thank You. :)

 
>A happy b-day doodle for someone I know online. We’re not really close, but I just thought I’d do something for her to express my gratitude for providing a refuge for me when I was quite unstable. I mean, she didn’t make that community particularly for me, but I became a part of the community, and the place made me feel that I belonged somewhere and helped me settle down a bit. My owner character(s) wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for that community. too. Also, it’s her 18th (19th by the Korean way and hence the pose) birthday. So.
But man this drawing’s so silly. XD

On the right: Ditis. Represents the owner, ditis. Reticent, almost expressionless, shy.
    Eye color: violet/blue/black; dark
On the left: Dis, Ditis 2P. Comes out when the owner goes psycho. Violent, cynical, more expressions.
    Eye color: violet/red; bright
Neither has a gender. Closer to male, though, I guess--will use the pronoun "he" for convenience. |D;

I didn't really think to give Dis a separate name at first (I used to call him "the psycho one") . I just randomly thought I would simply to make it easier to distinguish between the two. So, the first part of my username for the 2P. Simple. haha

Ditis doesn't look like ditis at all. The only physical similarity between us is that both of us have sleepy eyes |D haha.
I wish I were neither male nor female like Ditis, though. (Right, I made him genderless cuz I wanted to be so lol)
Should draw the full profile pix... Later.

Not quite the colors I wanted.



舞い落ちる花弁で
君が霞んで行く

忘れはしないさ
また逢える  涙はふこう

それぞれの夢を叶えに行こうよ

The epitome of my predilection
 
Nayatrei from the online MMORPG, TalesWeaver / the novel, 룬의 아이들.

Yes, she's a cooldere.
Yes, she's silver-haired.
Yes, she's violet-eyed.
Uh, she's also dark-skinned and.. fo-fourteen years old. 
But NO, AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY LOVING HER. REALLY.
...I think her petit size has more to do with it.
And she's also the assanssin type. TWO-SWORDED! 8D♥

But seriously, in all aspects (both inside and outside), she has almost everything that I am fascinated with/admire.
Strong, independent, disciplined, calm, prudent, loyal, keen,
and, though she doesn't look like it (cuz she has almost no expression), very caring.

"That which does not kill me makes me stronger" 
--Fredrick Nietzche
Nayatrei's quote.

I think I'm kinda going shotakon, too. o<-< pahaha
Fight fight 10代目!!! Knock off the enemies ウオォォォォォォォォォォ

wishing, wishing